The Depressing Part of Decluttering
We’re doing it! This week, the hangar is undergoing some serious transformations. Our piles to recycle and throw away are already heaping. The donate/sell pile includes hundreds of lightbulbs, airplane posters, WWII airplane instruments, and trunks. We’ve been seriously attacking the attic.
It’s so exciting!
It’s so depressing.
I do not like going through someone’s old things. I do not like having the person who collected all of these things standing watch as I pull them out. All these memories were heaped into boxes and stashed in corners of the hangar. Now we’re flushing them all out 25+ years later.
These photos are all of the area where we’ll be building our kitchen and bathroom. (You can see the layout here.) I’m sorry for the poor photography. Standing up there and seeing all of this stuff was just too much. All I wanted was to snap photos for our records and then get out.
I raced back to the tire house afterward. Overwhelmed. Fearful. Sad.
I came home and told Martin, “I was in the attic. I took pictures, and it was…”
He looked up from his work. His voice was as sad as I felt. “I know.”
I didn’t go back to the hangar for two days after taking these pictures. I just couldn’t.
This past week as we have been pulling everything down to the main hangar floor to sort, we have to wear dust masks. My pink shirt looks tie-dyed pink and brown and gray because of all the dust and grime.
The elderly owner of all this stuff is seeing these things come down. The owner is remembering them.
The owner of all these memories that are buried in heaps of dust is depressed.
It breaks my heart.
Why wasn’t all this stuff removed instead of being wedged into the corners of the attic so long ago?
For as much as I love the sense of clean, open space, I struggle with pulling out memories that probably should have been removed long ago. I struggle with knowing which memories are ones to hang onto. (Logbooks, photos, old documents like marriage licenses and birth certificates, and journals we always keep. If not for the owner of these things or the legacy we hope to build here, then for the local archives.)
Otherwise, I struggle with figuring out which things are junk and which things should go into the sell/donate pile.
I struggle with knowing just how much to show the memory owner and say, “What was this?”
September 12th, 2011 at 8:41 am
A few years ago I had to go through my Dad’s stuff. He was a borderline hoarder and it was TOUGH to do. I agree with you – I hate digging through someone else’s life – very sad.
September 12th, 2011 at 9:39 am
I wish I could give you a hug! And take you out for a well deserved margarita! I feel the same way when I help my Grandma – she has so much stuff and it’s hard to know what to toss and what means something…
September 12th, 2011 at 10:06 am
oh it IS sad sometimes, isn’t it? I felt that way going through both sets of grandparents’ homes when it came time to sell those places. Sad, sad, sad. Interesting at times, but usually more sad.
Our downstairs neighbors remember our apt as a very different space, so when they come up for a visit the wife always gets emotional at some point. However, they both love us as neighbors and think we’ve really freshened up the space and are happy to see us use it in the ways we do. I hope the hangar’s previous owner will at least feel the same! =)
September 12th, 2011 at 11:40 am
This is why it is so important to declutter on a regular basis. When I “check out” I want to leave everything a simple — and hopefully *unsad* — as possible for my children.
September 12th, 2011 at 4:17 pm
I’d look up aviation memorabilia and send some e-mails out. Don’t try to sell it just offer it to whoever can come pick it up. It might help the old owner to see it go to someone who WANTS it and it will take the guilt burden off you. My mom left a HUGE collection of dolls when she died. So I have been giving them away to anyone who comes over. Just an idea.
September 12th, 2011 at 7:18 pm
Katie,
I would understand if you purchased the hanger from an adult child of a deceased owner and you have to go through the stuff because they said no one is interested in the stuff but why are you and Martin stuck with dealing with a live owner’s stuff??? Why didn’t the owner remove it all prior to selling? If the owner was incapcitated in some way and just couldn’t do it, just take the stuff to the owner and let the owner deal with it. Or the owner’s adult children deal with it. It’s not right to make you and Martin go through it and decide what is valuable and what is not. That is just too cumbersome to take on and remain cheerful about it. If I was nearby I would come help haul it over to the owner. Seriously, I would. It makes me mad that you even feel you have to go through the stuff when it is not yours to go through, it is wasting your time– it’s affecting your progress on your plans because it is depressing to go through a whole bunch of unknowns. Sorry if I sound harsh but I’ve been through both parent’s stuff and grandparent’s stuff in the last 11 years and I was a relative. You’re not even related to the owner.
September 12th, 2011 at 7:25 pm
When my grandmother was dying my aunt took a leave of absence to care for her and to sort out her house. It was the family home since the 1870s. There was nearly a century and a half worth of mostly junk to go through. It took her a year to go through it all. Racks of old clothes – not vintage – just old and worn out. Broken appliances from 50 years ago. A garage full of rusty tools. An attic full of broken and squirrel gnawed furniture. There were some treasures – my great grandfather’s school books, a 48 star flag, an Edison phonograph, milk bottles with the name of the family dairy. But so many unanswered questions. That was the hard part. But it did make it easier to get rid of some of the stuff. And I suppose that was why there was so much stuff. Someone, or generations of someones, felt so much of the stuff was too important to let go of and so they kept it. Not knowing the stories made it easier to get rid of the objects.
Be tough Katie. You’ll get through it.
September 13th, 2011 at 8:13 am
I love estate sales. I’ve never even heard of one in an airplane hangar. Have you considered finding a professional to come have a sale for a portion of the profits?
You’ve done an amazing job so far. It would take me far longer because I’d want to read the journals and ponder the things left behind.
You’re doing great!
September 13th, 2011 at 5:29 pm
Oh, Katie! With the owner of the contents of the attic hanging over your shoulder it is hard. And thats a question I have for you – why are you and Martin doing this part?? Do you have an airplane museum around? Maybe donating it to them?
Rule of thumb is “usually” old paper ephemera from the mid 1960′s to now isn’t generally worth much. But then you still need to look at it because it could be of interest to the airplane stuff collectors. You have a tough one and I so wish I was able to come up there and help.
September 19th, 2011 at 3:10 pm
A little late to the party….
Andrea–perhaps it was a condition of the sale?
Katie–would it have been easier if the owner wasn’t there? Or did he want to be involved? Some people are “funny” like that…