Are We Simplifying Because We Don’t Have Anything Else to Do?
A family member recently commented that my quest to simplify (by doing things like air-drying laundry and darning socks) is really just a way to fill idle time. From the mass consumption perspective of most American lifestyles, maybe that sounds true. We have driers. We can buy more socks.
I don’t always choose that. In fact, I find great joy in embracing tasks that I have simplified or greened up a bit. The idea that I only do these things because I have nothing better to do is absolutely frustrating.
Is cooking homemade meals something you do because you have idle time?
Is decluttering your house something you do because you’re bored?
Now for me personally – if I start ironing towels, it will be an absolute sign of idle time. With everything going on here right now, we’re lucky if our towels get washed. But I still won’t use a dryer.
There is a very small revolution going on in much of the developed world where we’re seeing that happiness can come from simplifying and reverting to more of the things that people used to do 50 or 100 years ago. I think that many of you are discovering that very same thing. That’s why you hang out with me on Making This Home.
Meanwhile, everyone else thinks we are nuts.
Are we?
(One of my favorite walking paths… parallel to a packed 6-lane street in Berlin)
Another family member – one who adores more simplicity – sent me some life rules that have certainly cooled me down from my frustrations. I think you might enjoy them and reflect on what they mean in your life.
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
What do you think? Are you simplifying your life because you don’t have anything else to do?
October 11th, 2010 at 8:12 am
I guess I never really thought of simplifying life as a way to “fill” time. I actually make time for these things, because they’re important to me. Sure, I could eat out or “cook” a prepared food after work each night, but I set aside time to cook a real meal for us. It might mean we eat a later dinner, but it’s worth it to me.
I love that you hang dry your laundry. It irritates me that our homeowner’s association doesn’t allow us to do that! Seems silly to me.
October 11th, 2010 at 8:57 am
I think that the reaction of your family member is one of hidden guilt – I get the same reaction from friends about darning socks but also about not watching television. People tend to feel that we are making some sort of moral judgement, that we feel superior because we do these things. It’s difficult for people who don’t, to imagine that darning a sock can have it’s own pleasure in the action and the outcome. I am thinking a lot at the moment about the way we talk and value time and the way we weight time. I think that in the US we have stopped thinking about everyday tasks (the word chore is so heavy) as integral to life. There is work and there is recreation (which now sadly often involves no creation at all!) and everything else is a waste of time. There is something here about enjoying the process too but I’m still cogitating – I stumbled on your blog and I’m delighted! Thanks
October 11th, 2010 at 9:06 am
I think I approach it in the opposite way: I simplify because I have so much to do!
I chose to not have a tv because I’d rather use my precious downtime for reading, working on projects, and quality time with family and friends.
I choose to cook more from scratch because it’s healthier for me – so my body is able to do things that I want to do.
I choose to live simply because it’s frugal, and the less debt I have (I’m in school right now – student loans are an unfortunate reality), the more free I will be.
October 11th, 2010 at 10:10 am
I agree with Cecile. I have mentioned decluttering and simplifying to family and friends and the reaction is mixed. It freaks people out to think about getting rid of things. For some it is intimidating to even begin. Some think we are making a moral judgment with isn’t what I am trying to do at all.
My husband and I are cleaning out and going simple so we have more time to have fun. It means we also have less to clean, less to keep track of, less to burden our space and lives. We are not 20 something students, but a middle aged people who this year have gotten rid of a third or more of our possessions. It feel so liberating.
Really enjoy your blog. Keep up the good work.
October 11th, 2010 at 10:10 am
I agree with all of the comments above. I believe a big part is also the pure joy of creating something with our own hands. I simplify because I have realized it makes me happier to spend my time doing something meaningfull, like knitting a sock or tending to my small balcony garden and growing vegetables or baking homemade bread with healthy ingredients.
Buying stuff not only makes me less happy than all of that, it also makes me feel guilty for spending money on stuff that I know in my heart I don’t really need.
I believe a lot of people are slowly realizing that happiness is not in consuming (like the media would like us to believe) but in appreciating the things we have and in creating. Lots of people I know are just striving for more and more…more money, more electronic devices, a nicer car etc. There is so much beauty and happiness all around us and they don’t see it because they choose not to stop and look.
October 11th, 2010 at 11:18 am
With two kids I have plenty to keep me occupied. I do things like line-dry clothes because I want to preserve the environment for my children. It is time well spent.
October 11th, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Oh, goodness. How insulting! I agree with some of the other commenters that it must come from a place of guilt, they’re trying to put down your choices so they don’t feel badly about their own? My first instinct would be defensive, trying to justify each of my choices and make them understand… but since I’m outside looking in at this exchange I kind of think that that would be pointless, you’re not likely to change their mind. Keep doing what you’re doing, Katie! :)
October 11th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
Hi,
I’m 53. When I was growing up moms hung out clothes, moms took rugs outside and hit them with a broom to clean them, moms made dinner and dessert from scratch, used vinegar and newspaper to clean windows, mended socks and clothes etc. Moms were home and did a job. Dads went out to work a job. One income and families worked hard to stay on budgets. Simpler and probably greener. Now, time is the thing everyone wants. They have two incomes and want to “enjoy” it. So they buy things and go on trips and eat frozen food and use clothes dryers and hair dryers. (Anybody up for curlers and letting your hair air dry?) I think we all have to simplify our lives as we can. I couldn’t do it all. I HATE to cook but I am getting rid of stuff that is simply a burden. I drive a very small car without bells and whistles. I do what I can.
And the next time someone makes a comment about too much time on your hands – laugh long and loud! It will unnerve them. :)
October 11th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
I’m sure that I could save a whole lot of time by buying processed food/take-out, sending my kids to school, throwing everything in the dryer, paying someone to clean my home, and spending excessively, however I choose to do things that I believe to be better for our family and the world. It’s funny because when I was a child I remember despising hanging clothes on the line, but now I find it so relaxing (and I love the smell of the items afterwards). I enjoy living my life outside of the norm. Perhaps I can inspire someone else to think a bit differently sometime. Enjoy your life and the peace it brings!
October 11th, 2010 at 6:06 pm
I have received similar comments. Usually something like, “Oh it must be nice to have the extra time to do those things. I couldn’t possibly fit it in.” But I cut other things out just so that I could fit that in. Honestly, I can’t imagine making that extra effort to cook and clean and sew with kids, a husband, a career, etc. I love what Rose said about how the old way of families budgeting on one income led to a simpler, greener life. Of course I realize that being totally green isn’t necessarily practical (I can’t imagine the number of hankies I would have to own/wash on a daily basis during a bought of sinus infection if I chose not to use tissues!!). But I know that if I tried to be really career-minded and involved with various things I would never have time to make some of the green choices that I do.
October 11th, 2010 at 8:06 pm
I think some of the issue is the choice of words. Hanging your laundry out to dry is not simpler than throwing it in the dryer, nor is darning socks simpler than buying new ones. It may be greener, more frugal, etc. but it is certainly simpler to use a tissue and throw it away than it is to make, wash, and hang out a handkerchief. We may group all those things (greener, more frugal, less consumerism, etc) under the word simple, but they do tend to be more work. I can see how others may look at the way you live and say, “That’s not simpler – it’s much more work”, even though you may see it as simplifying your life.
We all have choices to make and life situations that influence our choices. I might want to get my kids clothes used but I have chosen to educate my kids at home and so I don’t have time to go to thrift or consignment stores and search rack after rack looking for the right size. My friends who send their kids to school have more time for that. So in some ways I have made simpler choices and in some ways they have.
So, trying to fill the time? Not quite, but the more responsibilities you have, the harder it is to chose to live this way because living this way takes time.
October 11th, 2010 at 9:49 pm
I stumbled accross your blog a few weeks ago while searching for reading material that will inspire me. I must say that most of the blogs I have tagged are about creating something with your hands, i.e. knitting, quilting and so on. I found your blog while searching for someone that also is a pilot, which is really cool.
When I think about green, I am usually refering to the color, but recently I have finally started to make more choices that are “green” and completely unrelated to the color. Let me say that it has been difficult to make positive changes. I want to thank you for writing about some simple things that people can do to create a greener environment for themselves, and although the changes I have been making are slow and small in the grand scheme of things, I look forward to the day when I can decide to darn socks just to fill the time. I will then be able to return to thinking of green as only a color, because my lifestyle, although it may be green, will only be the way that I choose to live as oppose to the chore it is now to adopt.
October 11th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
I have to go and wake my children in 5 minutes, so have only skimmed through the comments- apologies if I repeat what someone else has said…
I think any lifestyle choice implies a conscious decision that most just don’t bother to make. This means they do feel you are making a moral judgement on their lack of choice. I was vegetarian for 25 years (I now eat some free range local meat for several reasons) and it was interesting who would assume that I had a problem with their diet.
I have also found that our society has developed a cult of busy-ness. I speak to other mums at the school gate. You can’t say you’ve had a pleasant day- you must have rushed from one thing to another, trying to fit it all in. These are the same mums who ask how on earth I can find the time to knit/sew/make my own greetings cards/make my own yoghurt. The implication is always that they are too busy doing very extremely important things (Charlie and Lola reference for those not parents of 5 year old girls!) but when you find out about their lives
October 11th, 2010 at 11:07 pm
Oh no! It posted before I finished! I’m not sure what I did…
My point was going to be that they are mostly rushing from the gym to the shops to a friends house for lunch. There are a few full time working mothers who are genuinely busy, but not many.
I think the rest of the world will eventually see they don’t have to live like that.
October 12th, 2010 at 5:41 pm
The saying that keeps running through my head these days is “the emperor has no clothes”. It seems to me, as I look around, that everyone is busy (as Hazel so clearly pointed out) because everyone else is so busy. They’re doing it because “that’s what everyone does”. Pull your kids out of sports because they don’t enjoy them and you’re letting them be “quitters”. Choose to cook from scratch because you love learning new things and you have this vague uneasiness about what is in processed food and you’re becoming one of those “weirdos”. Stop worrying about fashion because you’re just working in the yard and working around the house and prefer clothes to be functional rather than “dressing to impress” and you’re “letting yourself go”. I think anything that goes against the current “norm” sets you up for criticism because you’re going against the tide and people view such behavior with suspicion. As you’ve already discovered by living in German, however, the tide is unique depending up where you are in this world.
P.S. Interestingly, a study (somewhere) compared running out to get food at a restaurant and making the food at home and discovered that running out to get the food actually took longer than just making it at home. “Fast” food really wasn’t.
October 12th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
I agree with what everyone else has said. It’s a conscious choice of how to spend our understandably limited time, in a manner that most authentically reflects who we are. Negative comments are jealous or just short sighted. Of course it could be that they just don’t see the merit in slowing down and making the most of their time, energy, etc.
October 13th, 2010 at 5:51 am
I just have to chime in regarding what Hazel said up above, because I TOTALLY agree. It’s ridiculous…like everyone is competing to be most busy. HELLO people! There’s no reward for that! Besides heart disease and various problems caused by stressed. In my profession, it’s even more magnified…it just feeds the ego to be So Insanely Busy all the time. And while it is good to be industrious and fill your time well, there’s a place for everything in our lives, even non-work.
I “simplify” because it means that a small investment of time now will pay off down the road somehow. So, re-organizing our kitchen cabinets after our roommates moved out forever meant that I’d be able to save time finding stuff, and it also meant that we gave a ton of stuff to the Food Bank. That’s just one small example, but there are a million more (such as spending time cooking good-for-you food at home instead of eating freezer pizzas and fast food every night…paying off in less illness and possibly a longer life, the ultimate in time saving, if you ask me)