Be True to Yourself
“We’re not very normal, are we, Martin?” I said as we walked out of this little general aviation airport when Martin had finished up some meetings. We were half the age of all the men standing inside. They were chatting about airplanes and the weather (Cause that’s what pilots do when you put them in a room together. They talk and talk. Airplane this. Weather that.).
I’m not used to being around so much conversation that I UNDERSTAND. It’s all in my own language.
It also makes me realize how different we are to EVERYONE we confront. Can you relate to this feeling sometimes? You are being you, but sometimes you feel so out of place. Other people have more friends, bigger lives, better children, richer everything, NORMAL everything…
You know what conclusion I’ve realized?
So what.
I think our kitchen in Berlin was my first introduction to absolutely ignoring what society says. Who says we have to have 4+ burners on our stove? I really started focusing on what I wanted… and being okay with the fact that it wasn’t standard.
There isn’t anything wrong with wanting what you want.
Being true to yourself means following what you want to create in life – not what your family and community wants you to do. And that’s hard. But I suspect that because you join me here on Making This Home, you often confront questions of what society says you should want and what you really want.
What is stability and security? What is normal? I think those questions can come second to something much more powerful:
Really, what is most important to you?
Since returning to the United States, my heart has been overwhelmed with amazing discoveries about what matters in my life. Martin and I will be heading out to visit a neighbor, and Martin will profess these ideas about home and passion that are exactly what I’ve been thinking. I can’t quite put them into words for you. We’re still in this state of discovery. How do we learn to listen to our hearts? To accept that we can’t say, “I live in ___.” Or “I am a ___.” The answers are much longer for us.
You might love watching this super-cute, quick clip. It makes me want to jump up and dance:
Just keep being you. Just keep doing what you love and believe. No matter where we are, that seems to be the absolute key to a happy life. And keep reminding yourself of one thing: so what if it’s different. It’s the you that YOU WANT TO BE.








June 30th, 2010 at 10:55 am
When you find yourself half the age of the participants around you, I think “how encouraging to them that young people are taking an interest in this.” Because that is how I feel when I see people half my age taking an interest in the things I like too!
June 30th, 2010 at 10:55 am
Oh Katie I wish I had words to describe how this post makes me feel. But I’m tears and not thinking rationally. Thank you, is all. You’re the best. Wish I could hug you.
June 30th, 2010 at 11:59 am
Katie your kitchen (cute and functional) looks really normal to me. And to anybody from Europe I guess.
Anyway really important message for today.
June 30th, 2010 at 12:13 pm
oh – I can so identify with this posting… I too feel as if I don’t fit in… as if I’m searching for something… yet as I sit on my back porch – I feel such peace – listening to some teenage boys riding their bikes over some dirt mounds (in the distance) – summer-time noise!; the hum of the birds chirping, squawking, trilling, whistling to each other; the thirsty birds & hummingbirds diving around the hummingbird feeder – not always being patient in waiting for their turn at the feeder; the warm sun on my feet; and in the distance I can also hear the noise of the cars on the freeway…
I wonder how many of my close friends do the same thing I’m doing right now? would they think I’m odd for just sitting & enjoying the peacefulness of the day? recently, over dinner with 8 of my girlfriends, I mentioned I had a “blog” – they all looked at me as if I had “two-heads” & asked how I had the time to do this “task” (I don’t think of it as a task – it allows me to step inside someone’s world and visit with them)…
I’m just going to keep being ME… and learning to be my own “best friend”… at my age, I’ve decided that it takes too much energy to try to “fit in”… I’m happy with what I have —-
June 30th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
If I had a dollar for every time I pondered my “weirdness”…
Of course, I believe that the key to happiness is being whatever God wants us to be, but since I also believe He created us to be the way we are and leads us to the situations that we’re in, that generally leads to being pretty darn happy too. And at least in my experience, that also means that we’re at least a few good steps away from the status quo.
June 30th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Katie,
I can relate to this post. When we told some over our neighbors that my wife and I were going to quiet our jobs and move to Germany, we got looks that we were crazy. They could not understand how we could leave everthing behind, how we could sell most of our possesions. This coming from a neighborhood where no house was smaller than 3,500 sq. ft., and if you did not own eithier a gas eating pick-up or SUV you were looked down upon. A neighborhood where no one mows their own lawn, and summer electric bills run over $500. My wife and I sat down once added all our costs and found we had spent over $60,000 in the two years we had lived in Dallas just to live! But were we any happier than when we used to live in a small apartment? Not really, so we began to look at what would make us more happy and thats when we reflected back on our visits to her family in Germany and the more simple life there. A place where life was more laid back, where you did not feel that we had to keep up with our neighbors. A place where friends were true friends. It really was a easy decision. So far the transition has been fairly smooth. My wife has already found work in her field in Germany. The kids have adjusted well made great friends, and instead of sitting and watching TV all day, the are outdoors almost eveyday. I cannot wait for the day when I have everything taken care of over here and can come over and join them. So yes your right it is not possessions or money that make one happy. It is a inner peace, and the joy you have when you are with family and loved ones you treasure the most.
June 30th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
So beautifully said. Your comments today are really touching.
June 30th, 2010 at 2:20 pm
I started giggling when I read the opening line because YES, I understand completely. I think Patrick and I have had that exact same conversation. “People probably thing we’re kind of weird, don’t they…”
:) It’s okay. We can start a club.
June 30th, 2010 at 4:56 pm
I realized how weird my life must seem to “mainstream” Americans when I struck up a conversation with the guy next to me at a bar who was complaining that they were showing the USA v. England World Cup match a few weeks ago. He was a nuclear engineer, formerly an officer on a nuclear submarine, and told me in no uncertain terms that he wouldn’t be happy with his life unless he was earning more than $180k per year. He seemed utterly shocked that I would be pursuing leaving a good, steady civil engineering job to move to Kiev, Ukraine for 2 to 3 years to learn Russian and work in a ministry context to assess switching from engineering to theological education in an Eastern European context. He told me to ditch my plans to serve in Kiev, get an MBa and I could earn a bunch more money; I told him that would make good sense if money was what I organized my life around, but its not.
It was also quite clear to me that I place a much higher value on community–neighborhood and family–than he did. I live in a 380sq. ft. apartment, drive a manual transmission diesel Jetta, am raising support to move to Kiev, and am a football [i.e., soccer] fan to boot. I believe that people, places, family, and community matter deeply, and as weird as it may seem, I cherish the freedom to pursue developing those areas of my life: I wouldn’t want my possessions or career ambitions to tie me down.
Thanks for your thoughtful post. I love the way your blog combines reflections on life with reflections and suggestions for how to live well.
July 1st, 2010 at 1:23 am
That little girl reminded me of Curly Sue, lol, remember her?
So true – like another poster, if I could have a dollar/Euro for every time I contemplated my weirdness… lol! I really thought about it a lot when I was in the US a few weeks ago. I’m not satisfied with the status quo, I’m really only satisfied and at peace with me being who I am and doing what I believe I’m supposed to. Thankfully my husband is the exact same way and we’re on the same page!
I think another challenge is to hold loosely to those external things we do have, the job, the house, the car, the public perception, etc. Those are things that are ‘extra’ for me, but I don’t want to get caught up and so attached to them.
July 1st, 2010 at 12:16 pm
I love that little girl!
I need to show my own little girl that video. Thanks for the smile.
July 6th, 2010 at 7:23 am
Yes, yes, yes! Especially in America, I feel like I am so weird. But whenever this makes my heart heavy, my husband reminds me that what’s “weird” is that we make decisions in order in increase our overall happiness. How many people go to a job they hate to pay for stuff they don’t really like and, at the end of the day, go to bed alone and unfulfilled. My relatives and my friends may not understand half of the seemingly strange decisions I make, but my little family consists of the happiest people I’ve ever known. And that is the ‘not normal’ that I am completely okay with being.
July 6th, 2010 at 7:29 am
beautifully said! Thank you all.