Culture Shock in America : Take II

You know you’re on your way back to the American west when:

1.  This man (and his fishing magazine!) is waiting to board the airplane to your final destination.

2.  Your mom is at the airport and you burst into enormous tears as she hugs you and welcomes you home.

3.  The cars are huge, huge, huge, huge, huuuuuge.

4.  You start seeing trucks with fake testicles hanging off the hitch right below the license plate.

5.  And NO.  You do not take a picture of that!

6.  You wake up to birds chirping instead of techno playing or traffic.

7.  Your jaw drops when you see the price of produce.  It costs at least twice as much, so you start wondering what on earth you’re going to eat.  Organic kiwis were only 14 cents last week in Germany; now they’re 60 in America.  Not sure you can afford this for dinner any more:

8.  You start making your own bread again.  You can’t walk to bakeries any more, and you’ve missed kneading your own bread.

9.  The only practical thing within walking distance is the mailbox.  That’s a few miles, and you can pet horses along the way.  But you have to put on sunscreen!  You’ll be sorry if you don’t, and you have learned that the hard way already.

10.  Everyone will chat with you.  They will chat, and they will chat.  They are so nice, and you worry that you are being rude.  People do not start chatting about randomness where you have come from.  You have learned the BLISS that comes with silence.  And you don’t want to be rude, but all of this chatter directed at you – while LOVELY – is giving you a headache.

11.  Your husband will then think something is wrong.  Because after a day of running errands, you don’t want to talk.  Your jaw hurts.

12.  Your sister worries that she has woken you up when she calls.  She is not used to the phone ringing so long before you pick it up.  And you are not used to walking so far across the house to get to the phone.

13.  And then you can spread your wings and be on top of the world.

14.  So now you know.  You can never say one place is better than the other.  You can never say, “I’d rather be here.”  All you can do is wake up with the biggest grin, feeling beyond thankful for the place you are and the places you’ve been.  People say that home is where the heart is, and you have decided to keep your heart right here with you.  Wherever you are.

Past culture shock journeys:  returning to the US the first time, having German friends visit the US suburbs, and returning to Germany.