The Decluttering Project : Why Does It Matter?
Why are you joining The Decluttering Project and striving to create a simpler life?
Really. Why are we all doing this? What is it that you hope to gain as you declutter?
One of my best lessons has been the importance of surrounding myself with people who embrace what they have. There are people who find true joy in what they have in life. Sure they might have some secret wishes or big goals. But when it gets down to it, they’re happy with the stuff they have. They’re happy with where they are. You deserve a happy life.
How does a simpler life feel like a better life?
One of my saddest discoveries was when I would spend time with people who always wanted more. Martin and I love to fly; one man went out and bought a plane. He wasn’t actively flying until Martin and I began interacting with him, and I have heard that he isn’t flying today, either. So why did he have such an expensive desire? Was it because he could have something we couldn’t? That no one else around us could?
Why do people have desires for so much more?
I wonder if their happiness is measured by the stuff they have. Of course, stuff comes with so many costs. We have to work longer to pay for it. We have to work to have a place to store it. We sacrifice our time. We part from our families. So many burdens come with having more. Can we measure a good life by our possessions?
I believe that a life of want is a life where you will never be satisfied. Every time you say, “I will be happy when I have ___,” you find you aren’t happy because all of a sudden, you don’t have the next ___.
If I spend time with people who always seek more, I find myself craving more. I become overwhelmed by this sense that my life could be better, that I could belong. I see the faults in my house and in my appearance. I start thinking negative things instead of embracing all the good. Instead of differences, I see faults.
Do you suppose a simpler life helps us remove these feelings of competition, inadequacy, and envy?
We are all meant to become big things. Does that mean we need to own big in the process?
May 28th, 2010 at 2:23 am
“Do you suppose a simpler life helps us remove these feelings of competition, inadequacy, and envy?”
Yes, I do think so. We used to be in the competition mindset, and while we weren’t trying to outdo our neighbors, we definitely wanted to keep up with them. When we moved overseas in 2002 and liquidated most of our belongings, moving to a country where most of the people around us were poor in material possessions, we removed ourselves from the competition and freed ourselves to live a simpler, more meaningful life. We now live in a fairly well-to-do country and have some wealthy neighbors, but have completely lost the desire to “keep up” with them. We have a simple home, a very simple car, and try not to acquire too much. We have much more important things to spend money on than more stuff, and much more important things to do with our time than acquire or work more for transient acquisitions! We want to spend our time and money on things of eternal significance. Quitting the competition freed our souls to pursue those things with more passion.
I love decluttering. :)
May 28th, 2010 at 3:06 am
Funny, I was just thinking about this earlier this morning: If I had endless money, what would I do? I thought of lots of things that would make life easier/nicer – but I realized they weren’t all the ‘typical’ things, they were more experiences. I’d like to feel freed up to LIVE more, and consume less.
So when I saw your question I at first thought ‘yes’, but then I thought – well, lots of people live simple lives and hate it b/c they want more. So I think it really depends on your attitude. I also think it depends on how much of a choice ‘living simple’ is for somebody. I think it’s harder to make the choice to be content with, and desire, a simple life if you’ve never had an option out of it.
May 28th, 2010 at 3:40 am
Julietter–Yes, I agree. I was thinking more along the lines of choosing a simple life than being forced to live one out of necessity. Although plenty of people are content with that, too.
May 28th, 2010 at 3:40 am
Well said!
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” – Oprah Winfrey
May 28th, 2010 at 3:52 am
Oh wow, Jill. That quote is beautiful! Thank you.
Katie
May 28th, 2010 at 5:20 am
This is an interesting question. My family lives simply partly because we need to to live within our means, but we find ourselves choosing further simplicity. I have come (not all the time, mind you) to be thankful for some circumstances that forced simplicity on us before we had the wisdom to choose it for ourselves. As a result, over the last couple of years, we have found ourselves in a life that fits us just right. With more means, with more choices, we may not have crafted our pace and possessions as well.
When I find myself comparing, or feeling a lack of belonging based on not owning something, I try to stop and ask myself what lie I am believing about acquiring that thing– what do I think it will do for me— what hole do I expect it to fill. Because it won’t– there will always be the next thing, as you observe. So much better to choose to step off that treadmill. To focus on be-ing and becoming rather than buying and owning.
This is hard– very against the current living. But when I’m honest, I really don’t want any other life than the one I have.
May 28th, 2010 at 6:59 am
For me, having less material possessions clears my mind. Less items to clean around, less items sitting in a box in the basement, less items to “worry” about. Having less allows me to focus on the important and precious things in life. Family. Memories. Time Reflecting. Etc. I cannot wait until my husband & I can become a one vehicle family. I know that when we make that transition we’ll get a lot “what the heck!” kind of looks & comments, but oh my goodness it will feel so great to get rid of such a big thing!
My husband & I have so much more simplifying to do yet, but once we start our family I know we will have more time with our little ones because we won’t be so focused on things!
You rock Katie!
May 28th, 2010 at 9:22 am
I once watched a show which I reflect on often with the great meaning it brings to my daily life.
The show..and I can’t remember the title or name of it…..was about a typical suburban american family that left everything they had known to spend some time with a family (in Africa) who had nothing but a couple of tent like structures they lived out of. No car, no running water, no electricity, nothing!
The 3 kids especially, on their way there were not happy at all about this idea. The teenage girl was already grieving about the losses of her daily “have to haves”, along with her brothers who were already missing their video games etc.
It was ruff those first few days and weeks, but as the family started spending the time in getting to know their host family and each other, they were becoming more as “known” people to each other in ways their things back in America hadn’t taught them to do.
The whole family at the end of their stay….hated to leave their simple lifestyle they had adopted with their host family….there were huge tears, great sobbing wails, and just utter adoration shown towards each other, and their everyone in their host family.
It was truly amazing!!!
s
On a funny note….the American family had brought some Ziplock bags with them…in which the host African family just thought was truly remarkable and awesome. They’d never seen anything as Ziplock bags and the many ways in which you could use them. It really touched the American family deeply as to the notion in using these simple things and of how all they had overlooked in their lives which were just taken for granted for!!!!
Imagine ….. Ziplocs being a luxury item!
After viewing this show….I decided to value the things I’d been blessed with already….and to get to the point to try and see a Ziploc as a pure luxury item! (Even though I store almost everything in glass containers these days), still I’ve carried this point to be taken in other areas of my life!
Thanks Katie for your beautifully written piece for today!
Loved every word of it…..and something to carry me into this
Memorial Day weekend with!!!
Thank-you so very much!
May 28th, 2010 at 9:26 am
Yikes! Didn’t proof read this comment before clicking on the “Submit” button~
I apologize for the typo errors! :{
May 28th, 2010 at 5:40 pm
I think that *choosing* a simpler life does remove the feelings of competition, envy and inadequacy. You are living the way you choose and there is a lot of satisfaction in that. Also, with less possessions you have less stress in your life.
When you live a simpler life in order to live within your means there is some satisfaction in that as well, because you do not have the stress of worrying how to pay your bills. And it feels good to not have money problems. But if you haven’t really *chosen* that lifestyle you may still have the envy and inadequacy to deal with. Maybe even the competition. You might feel good about living within your means but still wish that you could take that trip to Europe (like your sister’s family), drive a shiny new car (like your neighbors), have a shopping spree (like your best friend), or buy a bigger house (like your co-worker). You haven’t really embraced the “less is more” lifestyle, you just live within your means but still wish your means would cover more.
I have been at all ends of the spectrum, and am at a good place financially right now. But came to the realization (after dealing with all my Dad’s possessions when he passed away) that all the “stuff” didn’t really mean that much to me. So therefore I *chose* to simplify my life, get rid of the unnecessary stuff, consume as little as possible, and be good to the planet. So I do not have a problem with the envy, inadequacy, competition issues. Now. But I did earlier in my life when I was not as financially stable. I lived within my means, but did want the “stuff” I couldn’t have. It’s easier to be at peace with a simpler lifestyle when you could have the “stuff” if you wanted it, but you choose not to have it.
May 29th, 2010 at 6:53 am
What an amazing post! Thanks so much for sharing it–so inspirational and encouraging!
May 29th, 2010 at 8:23 am
I know just what you mean, Katie. I recently attended one of those home-based cooking parties, and was surrounded by a bunch of women who are polar-opposites in values & lifestyle. Even though I knew that I didn’t want that life, the next day I felt totally dissatisfied, and felt the urge to shop for a new piece of clothing, to change things in my life. I stopped myself, when I realized what I was doing, but it’s so insidious! There’s a Bible verse that cautions us to guard our hearts, and that sentiment really hit home for me that day.
May 29th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
“I believe that a life of want is a life where you will never be satisfied. Every time you say, “I will be happy when I have ___,” you find you aren’t happy because all of a sudden, you don’t have the next ___.”
I love all of my wishes. They motivate me and bring me forward. One thing is to wish something and another to be a slave of your wishes…
Second thing, I will be happy when… is conditional happiness therefore no really happiness…
My freinds have so many different wishes – material ones – I don’t get influenced by this…except that I wish to have more time to travel around.
May 29th, 2010 at 3:03 pm
I have been reading quite a few blogs on simple living and minimalism. The thought of paring down and having “just enough” is very appealing. Especially when I am wasting time sifting through piles of “stuff” looking for what I really need.
May 29th, 2010 at 3:48 pm
Interesting post & comments. I’ve been around a while & am classified as a “creative,” which means I collect a lot of stuff, some of which gets made, much of which still remains as raw material. It’s difficult to turn off that part of my head which already sees the wonderful end product that can come from something that most people see absolutely no value in or cannot see past its designed use.
But while my stuff could be classified as clutter before it is transformed, I think that folks who acquire in order to gain status tend not to acquire items that can be classified as clutter – you know, house, car, watch, clothes (well if one goes overboard here, it could be classified as clutter), 1st class travel, fancy dining, top of the line kitchen appliances for people who don’t cook, etc., most of these are really not going to cause clutter, unless you start to have them in multiples… Folks who end up with lots of consumables I think are generally misdirected and possibly confused in some way or other. They really haven’t figured out who they are or what they truly want.
If you have decided that you are the type that will want to redo your home every 4-5 years then the practical thing to do is donate your current décor and then redo – you are probably not going to redo your house the next time and go back to the look you had before, so no need to save the items. A lot of items end up being accumulated maybe because one may be too lazy or unmotivated to return it to the store if it doesn’t fit the mood, or if it doesn’t work, or if you just simply have buyer’s remorse. They usually end up in the garage supposedly temporarily, when times are good, when times are bad, folks tend to suffer more from the “just in case I need it syndrome,” and just keep it anyway.
Have you ever been to the mall and left without purchasing something? Have you ever been to the store with a list and came back with your list + some? Consuming is our culture. Shops exist to sell us stuff, if we meander through them or go near them, you will find something that you will end up purchasing, generally whether you can afford it or not. It will probably be something that you have wanted, or maybe something that you need, but if you hadn’t left home with the purpose of acquiring that item, chances are it wasn’t in your spending plan, but what the heck, you work, you make money, you can afford it. Think about making that decision say 10 times a day, even 183 times a year – can anyone’s spending plan stand that strain? Can your garage stand that strain? Stay away from the stores online and off, if you do not have a need, window shopping whets the appetite and pretty soon you will give in. The economy will not collapse, you will still spend when things need replacing or when your interests or life-cycle changes.
About the kids – they do not need 21 toys at each birthday, and weekly toys in between. They really don’t.
If you are someone that tracks your spending, you can actually tell what your values are, and in what priority – just based on your spending pattern. If you did a simple exercise where you prioritized your values before doing a value comparison based on your spending habits – many people would be startled because generally the values that you espouse, are often not the values that you practice based on your spending – check it out – it’s an eye opener.
May 29th, 2010 at 7:25 pm
This is so true, and so well written. I think part of the organizing is also realizing just how much you have; finding those little treasure you’d forgotten about. As you rediscover things that you hadn’t even known you were missing… you realize how little importance items really have.
May 30th, 2010 at 6:47 am
Thank you so much, Katy. I am loving these posts on simplicity. Your post, and the comments here, are helpful to me as I sort through my desire to live happily, simply, and within my means and also work through my old feelings of wanting to have a big house and beautiful expensive furnishings that “everyone else” seemed to have.
May 31st, 2010 at 2:39 pm
wow this rings so true for me right now. i am constantly thinking,”once i have that THEN i’ll be skinny, or prettier, or happier or sexier.” but of course that isn’t true. putting on a different shirt or skirt doesn’t immediately make me a smarter person. though doing so can help me feel more confident… but it never seems to last very long.
i am on a journey to be content with WHAT i have and work on WHO i am instead. i think there is always room for improvement on that course… who i am and why i am seem much more important than what i have.
i found you at kelly rae’s flying course and thought i would stop by! great stuff going on over there :)
June 1st, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Okay, I’m on the road to recovering some sanity around my 1300 square foot urban ranch house! One room – one draw – one cabinet at a time. Katy your blog is a gem! Yours is one of a small handful that I read all the way through – not just the high points or look at the photos – it is what I look forward to every morning as I drink my cup of green tea.
June 2nd, 2010 at 1:10 pm
I found a quotation the other day, attributed to Socrates: “Contentment is natural wealth; luxury is artificial poverty.” I love the idea that luxury creates an attitude of poverty, because I believe it’s true. When you’re surrounded by lots of things, you can only think of what you don’t have, and how to get it!
In the yogic tradition there is a tenet of non-grasping, which has helped me with more than just material cravings. It doesn’t mean an absence of desire or ambition, but just reminds us not to grab so hard for what we don’t have. Don’t covet possessions; don’t feel like you’ll be a nobody if you’re not a lawyer or a writer or a married person, or whatever. Our authentic essence does not come from these exterior things. :)
June 5th, 2010 at 3:14 pm
I agree with Toma – you ARE a gem, Katie. I think reflecting on why we are simplifying is important – without remembering why, we’ll stop, and we won’t know what happens on the other side. Personally, I am simplifying because I will be moving three times in 3 years, and the more I simplify, the easier my moves will be. it’s THAT shallow :) I’m also beginning to learn the real benefits to being able to FIND the things I know I have! I would say I am around 140% of the amount of ‘stuff’ I ultimately want to have, and I am actively decreasing that amount every day….I can almost taste the satisfaction of knowing I have enough – PLENTY – and that I don’t ‘need’ or maybe even want anything else.