Culture Shock in Germany
When we returned to Germany last week, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. Yet after describing my culture shock upon returning to the United States after living abroad and witnessing the culture shock of our German friends in the US, I started watching how the German lifestyle might seem incredibly foreign to an expat.
Please note that these points are based on my own experiences and where I have spent large amounts of time in Germany.
1. Cars are small; drivers are fast. Everyone is zipping around and racing from street light to street light. You’d think it’s a mad dash to the finish line when you first watch Germans driving. You can’t help feeling tense and maybe a little crowded in the tiny cars. Then you see something that never happens in the US. Someone turns on a blinker to switch lanes, and the next person in the new lane lets the person right in. Every time!
Everyone is incredibly alert. They can’t make right turns on red lights, so they don’t cut off pedestrians. In fact, I’d walk across the busiest streets of Berlin over and over before I’d even risk crossing the street in front of a WalMart in the US suburbs once.
I’ve driven several times throughout Germany. It is more exhausting than learning to fly an airplane because not only is everyone paying attention, they also expect that you are, too. I’m used to hanging my arm out the window, listening to the radio, and watching people on cell phones weave around their really wide lane in the US. Oh no. Here, you’re truly inches away from the parked cars on your right and the moving cars on your left.
When the light turns green, Germans expect you to go. I mean GO. People will politely tap their horns to remind you to pay attention to the light. But when someone (ie someone like me) kills the engine because she’s not used to driving a diesel moving van with a stick shift, no one honks. They just wait. I feel like people get impatient if you aren’t paying attention, and they’re kind when you have a problem.
2. Bikes zip in and out of traffic. I haven’t seen so many bikes anywhere else in Germany as I do in Berlin. At least 200,000 people commute by bike every day. Because drivers pay such good attention to what everyone is doing, I feel safer on my bike in Germany than in a little car in the US sometimes. I’m not saying a biker shouldn’t pay attention to turning cars. But have you ever felt safe in a bike lane, trying to go straight, when the cars’ turning lane is to your left? The cars stop and wait for the bikers to pass.
3. You need a euro coin to get a shopping cart. You can’t just grab a cart and go. I love this idea. When they’re done shopping, everyone puts away their carts so they can get their money back. No carts clogging the parking spots or denting parked cars like in the US.
4. Grocery clerks won’t provide you with bags. You have to bring your own grocery bags or prepare to pay up to a buck for each one.
5. Don’t expect said clerks to bag your groceries. That’s your job. There have been days when I can hardly keep up with clerks. I’m unloading the cart, loading my bike basket and shopping bags, and trying to pay all at once. When I’m not fast enough, it’s my own loss. Clerks will actually start piling the next person’s purchases right on top of mine! The clerks aren’t being rude; it’s what they’re told to do. A friend told us that grocery clerks are evaluated by the amount of purchases they ring up in an hour.
6. Prepare to recycle everything and be scolded by your neighbors when you mess up. I wrote a guide to recycling in Germany earlier this year where Martin and I counted ten (!!) different piles that we must sort our trash. As for being corrected by your neighbors… they’re not trying to be rude. I would say that in order to create an orderly society, Germans feel it is necessary to help one another – by correcting mistakes – to make things flow better. It’s tough to be corrected all the time, even though it makes sense, though. Imagine living in a place the size of the State of Montana and having 100 times as many people. A common sense of order makes sense, doesn’t it?
7. Everyone speaks English. I might as well just tell you this now. Germans will pretend they don’t know English, so I must say, for being surrounded by people who don’t know English, they sure do laugh at the EXACT same time my American friends and I do when we’re swapping stories and cracking jokes at restaurants. And why does it get so quiet and people lean toward me when I answer the phone on the subway (in English, of course) before I meet up with someone?
I love this about Germans – they’re so wonderfully humble! Even if they aren’t fluent in English, they can recognize English and might know a few words.
8. German is tough to learn in Germany. One of the most incredible things about living in Germany is learning the language and communicating in a totally new way. I’ve become a huge advocate of learning in a country surrounded by native speakers – you learn to sound more like them and have to practice even when you don’t want to. The challenge comes from #7 where I mentioned that most people know English. Naturally, a German would rather practice English with you than speak German. Likewise, I’d rather practice German with them. So learning German can get a little tough sometimes for English speakers. It becomes a battle of he-said-she-said until you finish doing business together.
Want to know my trick? When I’m speaking to someone and she hears me struggling to express myself, she’ll immediately switch to English. I tip my head, wrinkle my forehead, and just look at her like, “What are you saying?” Yep. You guessed it – I actually have to pretend that I don’t know English so I can practice applying my German.
9. Doors open backwards. I’m telling you this because I cannot even begin to tell you how often Martin and I look like dopes, yanking doors when we should be pushing and vice versa. The US has building fire codes that require most businesses to have doors that open outward. That way, if there’s a fire in a crowded bank and everyone is pushing to get out, you don’t have to fight the crowd just to pull the doors open. But for some reason, doors to shops in Germany always seem to open in. You’d probably never notice this problem until you’ve fully embarrassed yourself in front of half of the people who share the same apartment building as you because, over and over, you keep hitting your head on the door because it doesn’t open the way you’re used to. Not that I’ve done that several times or anything…
Any culture shock you’ve run into on your travels around Europe? How about as a European going to places that, say, don’t require a deposit to borrow a shopping cart. What’s that like?










i have yet to see a German pretend they don’t know english (maybe they’re good pretenders?) – but French who pretend not to understand English, oh yeah. TONS!
fun to read your side of culture shock coming back to Germany – I’m so wondering how our 3wk US trip will go this Christmas. It will have been sooooo long since I was in the US!
Love love love this post! Spent a good chunk of my life in Stuttgart and often had to go over your list of things-to-know with visitors. I also used your pretend-I’m-not-an-English-speaker technique when I was studying Italian in Florence years ago. Glad to know I’m not the only one using this method!
#7 was especially true with me. I remember my friend’s mom so embarrassed of her English, saying it had been 30+ years since studying/using the language. However, her English was so much better than my recently-studied German. I barely got a chance to practice German while I was in the country.
I love of of these things about Europe … small cars, commitment to recycling, overall healthier lifestyle. Why don’t some of these things stick in the US?
What a great post! The first lunch our family ate in a public restaurant was in Regensburg near the old bridge. There were baskets of rolls and pretzels already on the table so we Americans just helped ourselves – and found out at the end of the meal that there was a charge per roll to be added onto the regular lunch bill.
The embarrassing part was that one of my children decided they didn’t like what they had chosen, so I kind of put a napkin over it so it wouldn’t be obvious to our hosts. I hope it didn’t look like I was trying to hide it and not pay for it!
We stayed with our hosts for 10 days and I am in the habit of drinking lots of water. When I saw that the regular drinking beverage was bottled water and apfleshorle (sp) I felt like we were just downing euros…I always felt so thirsty. When our hosts came to stay with us, I purchased a lot of bottled water and set it on the counter. They settled in and drank freely as it seemed normal to them.
And this is so not mature, but while we were driving on the autobahn, the German word for “Exit” reminded some of my family members of a different English word — a source of never ending jokes and titters.
Hi Katie! I have loved finding your website from YHL! My husband and I lived in Switzerland last year for 6 months and one of our favorite cities to visit was Berlin, really hope to go back someday! Anyway, we loved that we could bag our own groceries, even if we weren’t that fast. At least I never went home with smashed bread and veggies. Ahh, I am missing the European lifestyle already…! : ) Good luck getting settled back in!
Germany sounds lovely!
There is a store here in HD called Praktiker (it’s a chain store, but I don’t know if they have them up north) that is like a smaller Home Depot. They have a great store, but terrible service. I know enough German to get around, but I don’t know the names of tools or thing-amabobs (that’s a technical term), so I always ask if they speak English and they almost always say no and turn and walk away quickly. One day I was irritated and said “liar” to the guy’s retreating back (not loudly, more to myself) and he heard me because he started laughing. He realized he’d given himself away though and hung his head before walking back over to help me.
I LOVE that you have to put a coin in the shopping carts. I have a little thing on my key chain that has a plastic disk to use instead of a coin. It’s awesome because I’m frequently without a 1 Euro piece.
Bikes zipping in and out of traffic scare the beejeebers out of me. They don’t look and I’m always certain I’m going to run one of them over. No right on red makes me crazy, but when we go to the US I forget I can do it and then people honk at me.
Oh, and yay for recycling!!!
Love your stories! Mom in High Heels, I am going to have to remember the “liar” thing just for a good laugh. That’s awesome!
Vicki, I don’t think that little trick is done much in Germany any more. In Czech Republic in the popular tourist areas? Oh yes! They’re counting on Americans to start nibbling. ahh!
Sarah, the government here has a lot to do with how people live in Germany. They create higher taxes on gas to encourage people to drive less and get better cars. They tax businesses to get them to create less packaging. Business lobbyists don’t have so much power, I think. It’s all a pretty interesting thing… and so beyond frustrating every time I return home!
Katie
That’s how the grocery store Aldi’s is here, you have to put $.25 in the cart to use it. I like it, but with large, busy stores like Walmart, it would be so hard to lug the cart all the way back up to the store. I really like hearing about different cultures. It’s nice to know that when I run into a corrective German here, they are not being rude, it’s just what they’re used to. Nice post Katie!! :)
One of many wondeful things I loved about Germany: how attentive parents were to their children. Small children were welcome everywhere, but were never allowed to run around and make a nuisance of themselves….at least, that was my observation. Also, there were not tv’s at every restaurant and bar. People went there to eat and socialize, not watch television. I didn’t see any boats, pickup trucks, rv’s or other recreational things….. Cool! I actually made a long list of things that were different in Germany, and none of them were negative. The culture shock was coming home to the US – and our visit to Germany was only two weeks long!!
Hi.
I’m from Sweden and when I went to the States last year one of the things that I had most trouble getting used to was the fact that someone else bagged my groceries :) It really is a cultural thing.
Another thing I found difficult was that I was so dependent on my car during the trip. I felt very “unfree” not being able to walk to places (once we lived in a hostel on one side of the road and wanted to go to a restaurant 100 meters away on the other side of the road and it felt really akward getting in the car to go there…), always having to find parking, not being able to enjoy a glass of wine in restaurants (in Sweden the law has zero tolerance for driving under the influence – you loose your license straight away – and for me it wouldn’t feel right to drive after drinking any alcohol).
Another huge difference between Sweden and the States is that you have access to restrooms, that are free of charge, everywhere. I Sweden public restrooms are few and far between and usually coin operated, so if you don’t carry any change (or the right type of change) you’d have to find a coffee shop or restaurant that would let you borrow their restroom. But they often restrict use to their customers. Yesterday when I was at a cinema they had a coded lock on the door to the restroom, and the code was printed on your ticket, to ensure that no other than their customers used the restroom.
I’m Canadian and we have to use a quarter or a dollar coin to get our shopping carts. I don’t know if it’s the case everywhere, but it certainly is in my area. It’s kind of inconvenient because occasionally you’ll forget your quarter and then it’s a big hassle. But I do agree it’s better than having carts everywhere.
I so enjoy your blog! Especially this subject of your lifestyle in Germany. I lived in Germany growing up for a totally of almost 7 years in two different times of my life. In the early 1960′s when I was 5 in Fischbach (spelling might be off a bit), and then in the middle 1970′s as a teenager (am I telling my age or what?) in Nurnburg, Germany. Even back then the German culture was always very conservative with their usuage of day to day needs, unlike us Americans.
One thing my parents always stressed was that the 5 of us children were to dress up and look our best when we went into the downtown areas, or when we travled the country side in our auto or on trains. The Germans always seemed to take the time to look their best where-ever they went. We were taught to adapt to the German culture even though as teens we lived on a American Army base.
Funny…..in being in the downtown areas, or at the market places, my sisters and I could always spot Americans a mile away with wearing T-shirts, Jean cut-offs (which we’re very popular in our American culture at the time) and Flip-flops. I giggle now writing this as it must of posed such a fashion stigma with my German friends!
Reading your blog makes me miss Germany. I lived there for 2 years over 10 years ago. When I first got there I way over tipped. I was used to tipping like 20% in the states (I waited tables in college), but in Germany I didn’t know everyone just rounded up the bill. It wasn’t until I left a very large tip to a really great waitress once that some Canadian friends living in Germany a bit longer than me clued me in.
The English thing is funny as well. In small shops and stuff it’s true that they would claim not to know English, which I was happy about because I got to practice my German. But everywhere else it seemed they were more than happy to speak to me in English once they knew I was an American. Once I was on a bus and a man next to me near the window said to me in German that he was getting off at the next stop so I would know to let him out. All I said was “okay”, which I have heard Germans also say, and he was “You’re American! How do you like Germany?â€
Lastly, this is the best time of year to be in Germany. The outdoor markets and festivals are so great!
Tschuss!
I am so enjoying your blog! I moved to Berlin in September from the US and loooooove it here, for many of the reasons listed above. It’s difficult to adjust to the expense of water, electricity, etc. but then I realize it just forces people to make better choices. It’s fantastic — I don’t want to live anywhere else.
One thing that always gets me — even in my 5th month in Germany — is that keys are inserted into keyholes upside down from the US. Ever notice that? I very often have to try more than once with the key because I’ve attempted to insert it into the hole incorrectly.
Still working on the recycling… My WG doesn’t do much of it, but I’m trying to encourage it.
Nice to hear from other Americans in Berlin. Thanks for blogging!
Hi Berliner! Glad you’re having such a wonderful time living here. I haven’t had that same problem with keys at all… but isn’t it crazy how the strangest details that we never think about suddenly become such an annoying problem!? Good luck with it.
Katie
Thanks Katie! I think I can manage the keyholes. But people drinking lots of beer on the U-Bahn is something else altogether… Trotzdem sage ich JA, BERLIN!
Hi. I was amazed that Americans don’t pay a deposit on shopping carts. I live in Canada and we have to deposit a loonie in a cart every time we want one and we’ve been doing this for many years. As to shopping bags, it’s the same here. If you don’t bring you’re own shopping bag you are charged anywhere from 10 cents to 50 cents a bag. The same applies to recycling for us. We have curb pick up for glass items, newspaper, tins or metal recycled items, etc. as well as our garbage and it’s been this way for over twenty years. Who knew Americans were so far behind the times as far as being green and recycling went. Finding this out was quite disappointing. I hope you keep this posted as this has been an eye opener for me.
Hello everybody,
first off all exuse me english. i like to tell you a story about germans pretent not to speak english.
my mom speaks a little english. not perfekt but goot enov to understand and responds. on the street an amrican soldier ask my mom. do you speak english. and she said sorry only german. so that poor guy tryt in his best german to ask for the way to a fame pup hier in heidelberg.
when he left i ask my mum. wy you said you dont speak english. she said that it would be so embarising becouse she dont speak it good enof. that is a typical stupit german thing. if you dont do it perfekt then dont doit atol. ( i am not like this) yust read all the mistakes i make in this comment.
finelly i like to tell you all that americans are very wercome in germany. please exuse the germans when you fell there are very rude. they not really but i know that it could feel like it.
One little story more of my grandfather. after worldwar2 the french came in the little vinevillage we lived. the french hit everybody and take all we had away. after them the english arived and they toock the rest. after that everybody tinks that the russians coming next. but it was not so becouse the american arme arrivet. in this days many black americans were in the arme.
My poor grandfather has never seen in his live a black person. and after his expirince with ather soldiers , he belivet that they will gife ouer familie the rest. but this soldiers was gifiing food and candys for the children. after hu find out that the sweets was not poisent he become verry cloused with a black american soldier. that guy dit not speak one word of german and my grandfather dit not speak one word of english. and they become really good friends for the rest of there lives. that man visit us with his familie 4 times till in the seventies.
this is only a little story but it explain wy we never forget the help and suport your help. even we were enimies.
i hope my english reading give you all a good lave
by by Jürgen
Okay, so that might explain the crazy way my friend’s husband drives! She is German, but she says she hardly knew a word of English when they came to Australia, but I think her husband knew a bit. I don’t believe she is exaggerating. But he grew up in West Germany, while she grew up in East Germany and had to learn Russian at school.
We were living in Papua New Guinea for two years and I hardly learnt a word of pidgin despite my best efforts for that same reason: everyone wanted to practise their English.
Oh, the key problem makes me laugh. I was an exchange student in Berlin a few years ago, and I was forever getting myself locked out because of the dang key! My host mom was very “German” about it, though. She made me practice and practice until I got it right. It was my first week there, and I didn’t understand about correcting not being the same as criticizing and I ended up quite upset. My host mom was really nice about it when she realized what happened, and explained that she really wanted me to be able to get into the apartment! I went to a language school while I was there, and they put in quite a bit of effort to place us with families who did not speak much English. It was incredibly hard at first, as my German skills were not the greatest, but I learned German quickly by the necessity of it.
Regarding #9 “Doors open backwards”
Actually, I’ve come to understand that there are rules as to when a door must open in or out. It depends on the type of store/establishment . I found this out recently when my wife asked the café owner, whom we frequent, why they were installing a new set of doors (opening in) just inside from the exterior door (which opens out). Cafés apparently fall under this rule of doors opening IN. The hardware store across the street has only doors that open OUT.
I have another problem learning German. As I live in a small village, people dont speak German, but a dialect, wich I cannot understand. I feel very frustrated, because I ask people to keep talking to me in Hochdeutch, but they seem to not care! :(