Thank You Notes: What’s Your Take?
You all remember how much we like to keep down the waste around here, especially when it comes to our mailbox. We’ve brainstormed a whole slew of low-cost, green invitations and have even sent personalized digital thank you letters to our immediate family instead of just the traditional phone call at Christmas.
But what about all those other occasions when a thank you is in order? What do you think a person should do when she gets something like a baby gift from a family friend or an unexpected package from a loved one?
Today we have a fine line between being courteous and being green. And for as much as I push repurposing and cutting back, I’m really struggling with this issue. It seems I get more and more casual thank yous in emails. Some are from people trying to be green; some are not. So I thought we could have a little discussion in the comments today.
Please tell us your take on proper thank yous. Do you send thank you letters or mention your thanks in an email? Or do you pick up the phone? Maybe do nothing? Tell me, tell me. Oh please, please, please.
June 30th, 2009 at 3:44 am
I really like thank you notes – I figure if someone does something for me, I can make the effort to let them know I really appreciate it. And despite the waste, I still value a handwritten personal note much more than a phone call or email.
June 30th, 2009 at 3:47 am
oh you made me smile! I always feel so obligated and stressed about TYs! I WANT to write and send them, i really do! I even have tons of lovely papers that I’ve collected over the years that I swear I’ll use and send, but half the time never do. That’s a confession for you!!
I’m just bad at sending paper thank yous. I think those who know me well enough to give me something usually already know that. But for the rest, well, I hope they don’t think I’m a jerk. If I don’t know the person too well I usually get it together enough to send something their way.
as for the green part, well. If I didn’t already have quite the collection I could perhaps justify buying some of those made-by-girl recycled paper notecards. But then how green do you really have to go? How green is the ink? How green was the giant jet it took to bring my order to my door the note I wrote to somebody’s mailbox? Where does it end?
I think it begins with using up with what you have (preaching to myself) and then dealing with the next thing that comes. =)
June 30th, 2009 at 3:47 am
also, darling picture of you two!
June 30th, 2009 at 5:11 am
Before Ms Foo came along I was the queen of thank you notes. Handwritten, personalized stationary ( I know – sooo not green, but it’s a weakness, what can I say?) promptly written. Today? Not so much. I should write a thank you card for something received in January…I did send an email saying – received it, thanks, etc, but I love writing actual notes.
June 30th, 2009 at 5:12 am
ps I think that pic of you two is beautiful and I think you could always email that out as a proper thank you! I love it!
June 30th, 2009 at 5:45 am
I have to agree with Dallas. I am a born and bred southern girl, who practically had it beat into my head to always send a thank you. You can always create a thank you note from recycled and repurposed materials.
June 30th, 2009 at 6:35 am
It was drilled into me, too, as a kid. And, I recently wrote about this very topic when I was surprised to see this practice alive and well — among a very unexpected group!
http://thisdmnhouse.blogspot.com/2009/06/lost-art-found.html
June 30th, 2009 at 6:55 am
I LOVE receiving paper thank you notes. Especially the ones that were home made because it tells me the person took time to think about me. I feel more appreciated. You can always recycle it or reuse it. If it has a cute scrapbook front, I take it off and re-use it somehow.
June 30th, 2009 at 6:58 am
I would never, ever send an e-mail thank you. Ever. And when I receive them, I cringe. Green or not, an email thank you comes across as lazy, like it isn’t worth writing something out and sticking a stamp on it… if someone deserves thanks, they deserve proper thanks. A phone call is a far better option than an email… at least it is personal, and it takes a bit of effort and allows you to catch up with the individual. They went out of their way to do something for you, and nothing can ever replace the hand-written thank you. I send thank you notes for everything, from gifts to individuals attending a dinner party at my house. And I know they are appreciated, because everyone discusses how lovely it is to receive a written note in today’s digital era. Besides, email thank you notes aren’t always appropriate; my grandparents, for example, do not use email.
June 30th, 2009 at 7:17 am
I definitely prefer written thank yous – I especially love thank yous that were handmade or have a photo on them (like yours above)! They tend to have a longer life in my house, since I’m happy to display the pictures/creations of my friends and family.
June 30th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Great thoughts everyone – thanks for sharing! I have to confess that I feel weird leaving a “thank you” comment on this post. :)
Katie
June 30th, 2009 at 7:55 am
The PHONE!! I love it; it let’s you “connect” with the person who gave you the gift and they can hear the appreciation in your voice!
June 30th, 2009 at 7:56 am
I’m with Julie and Dallas. I figure if someone has gone to the trouble of buying/making something for me, going out to the mailbox/post office to mail it, then they deserve a tiny bit of my time that it takes to pick out a special card, or make one, then sit down, and write it, look up their address, place a stamp and return address and mail it.
I have six children. Four are really good at writing thank yous and have taught their children. Two still haven’t learned. The ones that are mailed to me, I keep. I read them over and over again, because they are sweet, sentimental, sometimes hand made with beautiful handwriting. Sometimes all the family members including the baby (with a hand tracing or scribbling) have had a part in the card. It is sweet and shows they cared enough to take time to say thank you.
Saying “Thank You” is very important and I drilled it into my children’s heads all their lives. I wouldn’t let them touch any of their Christmas stuff until they all wrote thank yous. We sat down as a family and wrote. Sure it was a pain in the neck for me, especially since I had to remind, gather, address, stamp and mail the results, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I guess when it comes to the green part, it is more important to write a proper thank you than worry about the green. If the recipients are green conscious, then they will put it in recycle.
I have a great quote:
The Lord has two homes, Heaven and a Grateful Heart.
We need to show our gratitude to our givers, including our Heavenly Father through prayer.
Have a great day, Katie.
xxoo love you
~a
June 30th, 2009 at 8:25 am
I’ll be echoing everyone else, but re-purposing all sorts of papers for thank you notes is not only green but fun. But if card and envelope seem excessive, you could always go with a thank you postcard… might even brighten the mailman’s day, too!
June 30th, 2009 at 8:54 am
In fact, I go all out for thank yous using printed card stock (recycled paper!!!) for a hand written danke and merci! Handwritten, mailed in the post, is the only way to go in my opinion!
June 30th, 2009 at 10:03 am
I try and be green but I draw the line at emailing a thank-you message. That’s carrying it a little too far. A thoughtfully written thank-you note is in order. If I want to be green I can used recycled paper.
June 30th, 2009 at 10:40 am
I think it depends. We just got married, and we’ll be sending out handwritten, snail-mailed thank you notes for all of our presents and services we received. I generally write thank you notes for presents.
But for smaller things? Like an impromptu party at my house? Or having someone critique a piece of writing on the fly? Those are emails or phone calls. I think it also depends on how well you know the person, and what level of formality you’re going for. I one time had someone send me a “thank you for meeting me” card two days after we met in the hallway at university. That was awkward — and a waste of paper, because we never talked again.
June 30th, 2009 at 11:34 am
I think a hand-written thank you is always appropriate. I think it is so unusual to do that these days and I think it really nice to see someone’s handwriting since we don’t see each others much now.
June 30th, 2009 at 11:39 am
I’m a Southerner…we have manners [or should have them, we are SO drilled by our mothers!], and one of the basic courtesies is to send a written thank you for a gift or kindness bestowed upon us. I appreciate ‘being green’ and do my share of recycling and frugal living, but one can take being green too far in some areas. When a person goes out of his/her way to express a kindness, it deserves a written response on nice paper that says “you made my day.” And who doesn’t like to get a personal, handwritten note in the mail these days? What has it cost you but a few pennies in the grand scheme of things? I save all thank you notes, handwritten letters, invitations, etc. – they are treasures to be kept, memories to preserve and pull out later to enjoy again.
June 30th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
i really like handwritten notes. when i send my sister a thank you or a just wanted to say hi card i write a recipe on one side, and my note on the other.
June 30th, 2009 at 2:00 pm
I always do a thank you postcard (even for our wedding). It’s less expensive to buy and send, and you don’t need to worry about envelopes, etc.
June 30th, 2009 at 2:14 pm
I love the idea of sending thank you postcards for many occasions. Can’t beat that in comparison to something like an email thanks. Danke Sarah!
Katie
June 30th, 2009 at 4:04 pm
I battle my perfectionism here. I *want* to make handmade thank you cards out of recycled paper, but I will end up waiting 10 years to do it ‘right’.
Generally I email a picture of the recipients (usually kids) using the gift.
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:10 pm
I think if someone does a good deed for you, just tell them thank you by calling, emailing, face-to-face, and then do a good deed in return. I think just showing you care by doing something nice in return is enough. I don’t mean writing a letter, email, or making a call. I mean, if your friend makes you a cake for your birthday, make one for her or do something else that is equally as nice. I think people who always expect a thank you card are a bit stuffy. It’s not the 50′s anymore. Time changes trends and right now, thank you cards are on their way out. We need to be more respectful of the environment nowadays (you see where the past has brought us) and come up with more personal ways to thank people. That’s why I think the picture in an email of you holding up a “thank you” sign should mean more than a card, because you went out of your way to find a creative way to show your appreciation.
Just my two cents. :-)
July 2nd, 2009 at 12:21 pm
I also wanted to add that I am also a Southerner and because of our “Southern hospitality”, I grew up sending the cards, too. However, just because I grew up with it doesn’t mean I can’t send the recycled ones or do something else creative that is better for our environment. Like, give them a flower and just say, “Thank you.”
July 4th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I am in favor of handwritten notes! The art of letter writing is a dying! I think taking a moment to handwrite a thank-you means so much more than a telephone call or a thank-you in an email. In the past – I have bought “pre-stamped” blank postcards from the post office. They are inexpensive and you have a little blank card to decorate! One way that I try to be green is to use “found paper” to make my own envelopes and stationary. Maybe it is the historian in me who sees everything as part of an “archive” to be preserved (or maybe I am just sentimental) but handwritten notes, ink on paper, opening a letter or receiving a postcard … a wonderful, simple pleasure!
July 5th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Hey Katie! Somehow I missed this post, but I love the picture of you with your hubby. So very cute – your smile says it all. I try to send thank you notes for gifts, but I haven’t been as on top of it as I used to be. I do send e-card thank you’s sometimes, which I think is ok occasionally. :)