Culture Shock in American Suburbs

We had guests from Germany visiting this last weekend.  I’ve been a guest at a number of German homes, but this was the first time Germans have come to visit me in the US.  This couple (who introduced us to this amazing European music) has spent a lot of time in the US, so they weren’t surprised by the enormous cars, huge parking lots, or the relative disorder compared to German living.  What they hadn’t done before is visit a newer home in American suburbs like where we’re staying for another week.

I got to see culture shock in reverse.  Would you like to hear?

1.  Wall-to-wall carpeting is the norm in the US.  Not in Germany. Germans hate the idea of all the dust and grime that can build up in carpeting, so homes are never carpeted.  Like Germans, we take our shoes off in the house, so the couple kept lifting their feet like they were stepping in mud whenever they were on the carpet.  It reminded me of a little kid learning to walk.  They avoided the carpet as much as possible.

2.  American walls are hollow; German walls are not. We learned this the hard way when we started tearing down our apartment walls for our kitchen remodel in Berlin.  We expected hollow walls, and we found this:

tearing-down

Meanwhile, our guests couldn’t believe all of our walls were hollow.  When the wind starts blowing really hard, the heating system has to work really hard as all the heat blows out of the house.

3.  The average home in the US is much, much larger than in Germany because things like building materials, water, and electricity are a fraction of the price.  From our guests’ point of view, strips of grass between the sidewalk and street are a waste of water.  Huge homes should have multiple generations.  Large open areas in a home are too expensive and inefficient.

4.  The first thing Americans do when a guest comes to visit is give a tour of their homes; Germans never do. In Germany, places like the bedroom are private places.  You don’t get a peek unless the homeowner leaves the door open.  In the US, we get to be nosey.  We show our homes because it is a piece of us, allowing our guests to better understand us and feel comfortable and relaxed in our homes.

Berlin door

5.  At dinner, the first thing Americans will start asking when they’re visiting each other is, “How can I help?”  Not in Germany. This point is the hardest for me in Germany because the best thing you can do is leave a German cook alone.  Germans are organized and efficient, and they prefer to work on the task in the most productive way… which often doesn’t involve a guest’s help.  Your hosts actually have more respect for you when you let them do their thing.  As an American, I’m ready to jump in and roll up my sleeves so I can feel useful.  It is difficult to relax in another room at the same time.

6.  Screens are a problem. If you want to drive a German out of his mind, install screens on every door and window so his view is masked.  If you want to irritate an American, let the mosquitos fly in through the open windows all night because you have no screens.

Any cultural differences you’ve run into?  Heck, even generation to generation has some major differences.  Wanna share any that pop into your mind?  Meanwhile, we’re taking our guests to Costco.  Can’t get much different than that if you’re used to buying milk by the liter.

Psst… Check out the culture shock Americans have moving to Germany.  Or even more startling, the culture shock I had in the United States when I went back home after months as an expat in Germany.